


Drunken Discourse

by MasochisticHero



Series: Impasse [8]
Category: Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)
Genre: Comedy, Drinking, F/M, Office, Plot Points at the End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasochisticHero/pseuds/MasochisticHero
Summary: Because the boys needed a night out too. Kieran, William, and Lukas go to a bar, where they start a brawl.
Relationships: Kieran White & William Hawkes & Lukas Randall
Series: Impasse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720294
Comments: 9
Kudos: 107





	Drunken Discourse

**Author's Note:**

> Impasse is a collection of stories within the same timeline. Best read it all to enjoy it better.
> 
> [Impasse Table of Contents](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24221365/chapters/58354228)  
>    
> Best read after [Silent Sanctuary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24062164/chapters/57906190) and [Operation Stakeout Chapter 3: Miracle Morning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23836363/chapters/58024627).

Lieutenant William Hawkes shocked even himself when he came up to the brooding Officer Lukas Randall, sitting quietly on his desk, and asked, “Do you want to go for drinks after work?”

Time seemed to stop as Lukas silently looked up at William to judge him.

“Drinks after work? I didn’t expect you to be the type who does that,” Lukas scowled. He was known around the office as _Grumpy Cat_ , named after the celebrity feline who had an eternal resting frown face. And the way he _stared down_ at his superior now was testament to that nickname.

William gulped, hoping the Grumpy Cat would just either accept or reject right away, instead of staring at him darkly for a few awkward seconds. Lukas looked over to the empty desk by the window. “What about the sergeant?”

William wanted to bang his face on the floor, but that would be unbecoming of a ranked officer like him. The last thing he needed was to go drinking with the hyper child Ladell. _Never again_ , he promised to himself. _Not after that unintentional night_. His face must have expressed so, because Lukas followed up with, “What about Sinclair?”

William shook his head. “Please, Lukas,” William half begged, his psyche desperate for masculine company. The Grumpy Cat looked at his paperwork, considering. “Only if you can invite one more person to come with us,” he muttered darkly.

It was an answer that surprised William. He didn’t expect Lukas to demand more company. But then again, Lukas would hate the small talk, and two of the hottest guys drinking alone would birth gossip about them, which was the only thing the brooding officer hated more than a noisy morning before his black coffee.

Right on cue, the newest addition to the precinct, archivist Kieran White, entered the sparsely populated patrol unit office. On his hands were documents, ready to be delivered to their respective officers.

“Ask him,” Lukas ordered, sipping his lunchtime coffee.

William just blinked at the audacity of his tone. How come each and every one of the people assigned under him was an insubordinate prick? But William, being the massive doormat that he was, smiled at the archivist when he came over to Lukas’ desk. “Would you like to join us for drinks after work, Mr. White?”

William was aware that he never exactly tried to talk with the archivist before. He alluded it to multiple factors; he did not want to meddle with Lauren’s happiness, be branded a gossip, and was preoccupied by his own problems. No. The real reason was that he didn’t like Kieran White. But this was a good opportunity to get to know him. He can’t go on disliking the man forever, especially since he was Lauren’s man. Not that he was supposed to know that information, but after two weeks of keenly observing their interactions together in various situations, it had become too obvious.

Anyone watching them extra closely would come to the same conclusion.

“Lieutenant Hawkes, Officer Randall,” the archivist greeted, handing them their respective case files. “Are you sure you would like to invite a new hire like me to a drink of comrades?”

William noticed a few women hiding behind the doorway, attempting to listen into their conversation. He tried his best to ignore them.

“Are you going or not?” Lukas asked in a low threatening voice. William was ready to apologize for the Grumpy Cat’s rudeness, but the archivist actually cracked a smug smile on his usually shy face.

Lukas perked up, intrigued by the archivist’s reaction. Even William couldn’t help but be drawn in by that grin. The man literally oozed confidence and suavity.

“Why not. It seems like the two of you will be entertaining company. Pray tell, lieutenant, but under what occasion are we drinking tonight?” There was mirth in his voice, as if he already knew the answer to his own question.

“He and the sergeant are having a love quarrel,” Lukas replied in an annoyed voice. “They’ve been at it since Monday. It’s making the office quieter, but the tension is unbearable.”

William’s mouth hung open. First of all, was Lukas Randall, the most unsociable man in the entire precinct, engaging in a conversation with a new hire? And second, how come he noticed his and Ladell’s little time out?

Kieran nodded sympathetically as he set down his folders. “I see. Women problems. Then I’ll have to cancel my date for tonight,” he said in passing.

“Are you sure Sinclair would be fine with that?” Lukas asked, not holding anything back.

Wait, he also knew about that? William thought that perhaps Lukas Randall here was a better candidate for catching Lune, rather than him and Ladell. Nothing got past him.

“I’m sure the lovely officer would be fine with it. And given the fact that I’ll be going with two of her friends, I don’t think we’ll hear any objections.”

“Oh, I was under the impression that you two didn’t want anyone to know about what was between you two,” William said apologetically. He needed to try his best to like the archivist.

Kieran shrugged. “People are bound to notice. It’s not like we hide it, but we don’t advertise it as well,” he replied as his bright turquoise eyes danced behind his lenses. “I’d love to tell you all about us when we go drinking.”

* * *

Lukas Randall actually liked the aura that this Kieran White was emanating. Of all the people he encountered, only the archivist didn’t fold at the threat of his intimidation. As a matter of fact, Lukas himself felt a little bit of chill on his spine at the sight of the man’s confident smile.

Quiet, proper, and can stand up to his indiscriminately off putting glare; the archivist seemed to be an interesting fellow worthy of his company.

Lukas frowned at the flock of women crowding the door, obviously wanting to have a glimpse of the three most gorgeous men of the precinct. That’s right, The Grumpy Cat was aware that he was an attractive man, and this greatly irritated him. Everywhere he went, people whispered behind his back.

All he wanted was peace of mind as he observed others and silently judged them.

Sergeant Ladell and Officer Sinclair came into his field of vision, shooing the ladies and telling them to go back to their stations. Thank the gods, he thought, as he continued conversing with the two males. From his peripheral, he saw their faces warp from confusion to awe, as they looked at the view before them.

Even the sergeant even seemed to forget her petty argument with the lieutenant, as she began to slow clap in shock.

He couldn’t blame them, since it was, indeed, a rare sight. The lieutenant was always high strung around the archivist, but now, William looked relaxed. The usually shy archivist was smiling and amiable. And the famed Grumpy Cat was actually conversing with people.

Had they been the members of those ridiculous and unsolicited fanatical groupies, they would have fainted. Or worse, he could have murder them.

Lauren walked towards their direction, and Lukas noted the change in her general attitude, although he couldn’t quite pinpoint how. She glanced around the room, and addressed the archivist.

“You seem to be having fun,” she said with a smile.

He saw the other women from the patrol unit watching the interaction with interest. The sergeant even got a slice of watermelon from some magical pocket and began eating it. And he noticed William deliberately turning his head away from Kym and Lauren.

Interesting turn of events.

Lukas sat back on his chair, crossing his arms, to watch the anticipated chaos unfold before him.

“This is for you, _mon amour_ ,” the archivist said cheekily, handing the folder to Lauren, who graciously accepted it with a knowing smile.

Lukas raised an eyebrow at this overt change in how they interacted. They used to be more discreet. Was this a ploy? A declaration of the rich Sinclair Heiress to the entire 11th precinct that her man was hers alone? Whatever they were planning seemed to be working perfectly, as Lukas noted just a slight shadow of a smirk at the corner of Lauren’s lips at the sounds of women silently choking on air.

He closed his eyes to savour the clattering of hearts breaking.

But it was rudely disrupted by Sergeant Ladell, who loudly coughed on her watermelon amidst the silence of the room. After five seconds of exaggeratedly pounding her chest, her body slumped to the ground as her hand dramatically let go of the half eaten watermelon, which rolled to William’s shoe.

The lieutenant just looked at Ladell’s limp body for a few good seconds, his face expressionless and blank, before it crumpled into pure horror at the realization that this exhibition was not an act.

The green summer fruit she so brazenly craved, had, at last, enacted its lengthily planned revenge. Kym Ladell was finally struck down by the watermelon god.

“Holy fucking shit!” William cried, running over to Ladell’s lifeless body.

The lieutenant grabbed the sergeant from the floor, wrapped his arm around her chest and began to perform the Heimlich maneuver on her. The entire office was in a riot, screaming, “ _LauKi_ is a thing! The sergeant is dead from watermelons!”

The archivist simply looked on the entire patrol unit with a bemused expression. “Officer Randal, are the police officers of the 11th this chaotic all the time?”

Lukas just grinned darkly, basking at the mayhem.

The entire precinct was filled with idiots for him to pick on and judge. Too bad they were all noisy, but no pain, no gain. He had enough coffee to tolerate this grand spectacle today.

“Well, no wonder the 11th couldn’t catch the Purple Hyacinth, nor Lune.”

And Officer Lukas Randall couldn’t agree more.

After five thrusts, the sergeant spat out the watermelon seeds. She gasped for fresh air, clawing the front of Lauren’s uniform, who so kindly patted her friend’s back.

Through the chaos, Hermann came and scolded them all.

Finally, after two whole years of the lieutenant advocating this policy, watermelons were banned from the precinct.

Kym Ladell cried while William Hawkes celebrated.

And the three men prepared for their first boys night out.

* * *

William was on his fifth beer, slamming the mug empty.

“I can’t take Ladell anymore!” he whined. “She appears in my dreams and haunts me!”

Kieran simply nodded, still on his first mug. It was not wise for an assassin slash spy like him to go out and get wasted. And for the first time, the lieutenant was no longer acting cold towards him. Somehow, he felt like he unlocked an achievement.

“You dream about her?” Lukas repeated. He was on his fourth mug, and was getting more talkative. “What type of dreams?”

“She sleeps beside me and we make out!”

Lukas spat out his alcohol. “You’re disgusting, lieutenant.”

“I know, I’m disgusted with myself too.”

Kieran set down his mug. His two companions were intoxicated enough to not mind his lack of participation with the drinking game. He took out some papers and a pencil, and started sketching the officers.

“Kieran, were you the one who sketched Lauren during the competition?”

There was no point hiding it anymore. During the weekend, he and Lauren decided to proceed with publicizing their relationship. In the eyes of the precinct, it was a new relationship built after he started working there. And in the narrative that he will report to the Phantom Scythe, he was using her to for information and as possible leverage for the future.

“Of course, I promised her a portrait a _very_ , _very_ long time ago. Shame that I was only able to give it to her now.”

William slammed his face to the table. “Lucky. Good for you two for being happy. Don’t you dare make her cry the way _that boy_ does _._ ”

_What boy?_ He tried to prod, but the lieutenant would not budge. So he diverted the topic.

“What about you and the sergeant. Have you told her you like her yet?”

William sputtered and hung an arm on Lukas’ neck. “Hey Lukas, tell me, do I like Ladell?”

Lukas pushed the drunken lieutenant and scowled. “Don’t ask me how you feel, you’re the one who dreams about her every night.”

“It’s all that _bald_ man’s fault! If only he was not there on that damned tavern, then Kym wouldn’t have called me her husband.”

“She also likes you back, for the record,” Lukas drawled, sipping beer from his mug.

William chose to ignore the stated fact and raised his hand to ordered another bucket of craft beer.

“Wow, I didn’t know that my boss was a serial drunkard.”

“If you had problems like mine, you’d drink too.”

“I don’t have problems like yours. I thoroughly enjoy being other people’s problems.”

Kieran was seriously vibing with Officer Randall. He held up his mug and shared a toast with the Grumpy Cat. “Touché officer. I like you.”

He went back to his sketching. It was quite fun, going out with coworkers like this. He was about to finish his sketch, when someone suddenly stood at the end of their table.

“You still draw and do stupid art, little Kieran?”

He knew that condescending voice; like a devil’s screeching in the middle of the night. Like the fangs that came with the poisonous snake.

It was a voice that started his nightmares.

Kieran slowly looked up, planting a well-practiced friendly smile on his face. Tim Sake was looming over him, his eyes looking down, just as how he did ten years ago.

“What do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Mr. Sake?” Kieran asked. Under the table, he clenched his fist. This man almost got Lauren killed by the Viper Assassin. This man was planning to hurt Lauren.

Sake was about to answer, but his face went flying. William Hawkes just landed a sucker punch on the scarred man’s face.

“This is all your fault!” he shouted, painfully drunk.

The other patrons just stared at them. What a scandal, a police officer going rogue in a bar.

Lukas simply blinked and drank another sip. “This is a fine substitute for coffee.”

Sake sat up from the floor, grasping his cheek. “Are all police officers from the 11th so aggressive?” he mocked.

That’s it, Kieran thought. He can always inform the Messenger that he was only trying to protect his cover as an archivist.

He will defend Lauren’s honour tonight. But more than that, he will allow himself his first act of vengeance in ten years, and he won’t even attempt to feel bad about it.

He stood up and grinned. “You know better than anyone what happens to people who mess with me.”

Kieran lunged at Sake and began to attack him. William joined in the fray as well, assisting Kieran with bludgeoning the bald man’s face.

_This felt good._

And then, after a misstep, William accidentally slapped another man. And it escalated into a full on bar brawl.

Lukas Randall, in his intoxicated state, enjoyed the view.

Kieran easily outmanoeuvred Tim Sake, whose strong suit did not count hand to hand combat.

“Why are you doing this, kid?” Sake asked. “All buddy and friendly with the officers now, eh?” He was pinned to the ground, his eye black with a massive bruise, and his cheek freshly scarred. The noise from the fighting around them gave them ample leeway to threaten each other.

“Get the fuck away from me when I’m in the middle of a mission.”

“You think the Phantom Scythe just lets you do what you want, just because you’re the Purple Hyacinth?” Sake chuckled.

“I can kill you if you want,” he threatened in a singsong.

“I know better than anyone your misplaced morals.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

A flash of light blinded him for a bit, and both Sake and Kieran looked up at the same time.

“Nice reunion we’re having,” the photographer happily said behind the lens. “Smile, you two. This will go to the apostles and the leader.”

Both men on the ground frowned. The last person he expected to join this already messy affair had shown himself. He stood up and released Sake.

“What are you doing here,” Kieran asked calmly as he dusted his pants.

The photographer put his camera down, revealing a youthful man of about twenty two. His grey eyes shined menacingly as he looked at Kieran. “Long time no see, comrade. Didn’t you miss me?”

Kieran could hear the venom and spite in his voice, albeit the smile on his face.

“I just saw you covering the event at the precinct the other day. And I’m hurt, you disappeared right away and didn’t even say hi.”

The man ignored this statement, and brushed his snow white hair using his four fingered hand. He then directed a smile at Sake. “Bella is looking for you.”

Sake scoffed, punching a random man attempting to attack him.

“Whatever.”

He leaned to Kieran. “Better watch out. And don’t get too comfortable with the officers.”

He walked out of the door, stepping over fainted bodies that William had already knocked out.

When Kieran looked around, the four fingered photographer was gone as well. But he was sure this won’t be the last time he would see his _previous_ best friend.

The archivist sighed. He observed his trashed surroundings and saw the entire bar still fighting, except Officer Randall, who was busy vomiting on the other side of the table. And William? In the middle of a fist fight with one fat bastard.

“I did not have _sex_ with Ladell!” he was screaming frantically.

Kieran White shook his head, chuckling.

This was going to be a long night. But if there was any consolation, he did enjoy his night out with the officers of the 11th precinct.

**Author's Note:**

> OMG this chapter ate my mind because I have zero idea how these three handsome men would interact.
> 
> Plot points, plot points everywhere.
> 
> \---
> 
> All characters of Purple Hyacinth belong to [Sophism](https://www.instagram.com/deadsophism/?hl=en) and [Ephemerys](https://www.instagram.com/ephemerys_ph/?hl=en).
> 
> [Read Purple Hyacinth on Webtoons](https://www.webtoons.com/en/mystery/purple-hyacinth/list?title_no=1621&page=1)
> 
> [Official Purple Hyacinth Discord](https://discord.gg/DfkfTxD)


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